He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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