thus making me awesome and them whores
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
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I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
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I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
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