I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Found your dick twin last night
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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