if i can run in heels then i can drive
I am spending my child support on dildos
We got so high we made milksteak
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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