At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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