I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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