I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
40s are totally the cure
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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