It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
