Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
