its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize