Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize