Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
