I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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