I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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