I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
