I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
