I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
