is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
