You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
