im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
We have so much sex to catch up on
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
