you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
