Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
