She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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