real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
