your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
