I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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