i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
