My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
