Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
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