i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
