you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
