best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
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that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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