Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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