And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
