So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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