Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
