you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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