ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
