A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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