I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
