Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
