Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
