He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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