I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
