She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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