for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
