He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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