just survived the first fart of the relationship.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize