The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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