Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
