Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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