Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
