yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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