There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
