i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
