I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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