is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
