I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
