like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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